The Last 5 years: how to start

                              The Last 5 years: how to start

I don't know where and how to start, there is neither any beginning nor any end
Every day I feel like I will do it today, I will do it today
But for the last 5 years I have not been able to start
In 2020 I had 'paralysis' and because of that I started living alone by myself
Earlier also I was away but now it has increased
And then something or the other started happening
It is not like that, I don't try, I try, I try but as if I am scared or I am not able to push myself or what has happened to me
I don't know I know that it has to be done but let's see when it starts
I feel scared but I don't even know what the fear is ??
The shame will start one day or the other
If not today then tomorrow it will have to be done
When will I be able to keep myself alone and when will I be able to stand with myself. I don't know
Many people will be able to relate to this shame, I hope I will be able to answer it to you people soon.